Why I write

I have been asked why I write. First off I write as it is in my God given purpose. Second, it brings me joy and releases everything I have experienced into something I can deal with. Third, it is the communication form I am most comfortable with. Last, it is something physical to pass. Let me expand on each of those.

First I believe we all have a God given purpose. At least one, maybe more. I also believe that our purpose is to be used to glorify God. Aligning ourselves into that purpose brings joy other things cannot get close to. My purpose is to create a written format stories based on the Bible.

Writing helps me to release all the hurts I have experienced, wither emotional, physical or mental. Whether they are real or imagined. Writing clears out the trauma allowing room for joy to come back. That said writing alone cannot bring joy back. It empties what I have stored, so while my first stories were well written, they were not good stories and I would not recommend anyone getting them. I know they are well written as people still ask about them. I just state that I no longer deal with them. Being left empty is a quick way to drop back into negative. I must put good into my heart, soul and mind. Only God can do that.

For me written communication is much easier in both receiving and giving then verbal communication. Receiving verbal communication is hard as I have sound sensitivity and it is hard to distinguish some sounds when there are other sounds nearby. The sounds I am sensitive to could trigger me into not talking at all and the sounds I cannot distinguish gets no response, unless i can tell someone is talking directly to me. If I can tell that I am being talked to I will ask for a repeat and listen harder so I catch what is being said. If you are not facing me or walk away, I have lost part of the conversation and will not go after you to get that rest of it. I act on what I got. Then on the giving end of verbal communication I have a very strong blended accent from movies I watched and imitated as a child. That accent got me picked on. Children don't know how to say 'I like your accent', they just say 'you talk funny.' I was bullied by my older sister so this hurt and I stopped talking as much as possible. It has made my voice very soft unless I yell and I hate feeling as if I am yelling at others so most do not hear me when I do talk, more so if there are other noises nearby. I am trying to correct that and develop my voice. Getting past the emotions is a very hard start. Getting better as I practice.

Something physical to pass to others. I have had many near death experiences, so I am very aware that anyone can die at anytime. We do not know when or how, but I am convinced that God does and we cannot die at any other time, place or circumstance then that. I believe that there is a generation that will never die, they will be raptured but we do not know when that will be so I want to pass something on that can be used to remember me by.